there are many, MANY ways our healthcare system completely sucks assholes. but i think the first and foremost is the lack of concentration on diet. here, take this medicine for depression.. while completely failing to acknowledge that a happy brain cannot function on shitty, processed foods. Even a lot of foods that are marketed as 'healthy' are not. and that's so unfortunate for people who don't fully understand how the body processes food. (not that i do completely- but i have studied nutrition a bit. in school and outside of school.) all in all, eating your vegetables is hands down the best thing you can do for your little body. also, drinking plenty of water. water is water. there is no substitute for water.. even crystal light. that's not water. water is water. water is 70% of your biological make up and you need to consume it. i wouldn't be so passionate about thinking, writing, and learning about food if i have never found benefit from it.
so here i am.. experimenting with another way of eating.. FODMAPS. add the no dairy, plus no gluten.. and it's like, wtf do you eat?! well- vegetables... but a select few. not all of them. holy shit, it's hard. but one thing that makes it bearable is my VitaMix and a partner who helps me create a lot of food... and by helps, i mean, if he didn't make the sauces- i would just eat my vegetables plain, with no seasoning because i am lazy AF. FODMAP is an acronym for certain molecules found in food that have been shown to be poorly absorbed by some people. it's essentially a diet for people who suffer with IBS, but IBS is such a blanket term.. and what i'm finding with the more i read and learn is that even if you don't have constipation or diarrhea, it doesn't mean you don't have problems with your gut health. just about any adverse symptom someone has, i believe, is linked to their digestion.
so why i am doing this FODMAP? because ridding my eating habits of dairy has helped my skin significantly!!! i don't have nearly the acne i did before i cut dairy out of my diet.. but i still get it. if my skin is still breaking out from time to time- there is something inside of my little body that's not working properly.. OR, i am ingesting something that my body has a hard time processing.. so i am experimenting with FODMAPs.. to see if it improves even more. so far, it's been hard to get used to figuring out what you can and cannot eat- but i am real curious to find out if there are certain foods my skin responds better to. the takeaway i'm trying to add here for my readers- all 5 of you- is that food allergies can manifest in SO many different ways. headaches, body aches & pains. skin issues. etc. there is so much you can do for your body through eating good food, and i think that it's important for people to know that they can experiment with their eating habits to heal so much more than just an image in a mirror. it's more than eating healthy because you want to maintain a certain weight- we should be eating healthy so that we can feel good and our bodies can propel us thru a vibrant, beautiful life.
i miss you and i never thought i would lose you while i was still in my twenties. but that is part of life and the things you've taught me are endless. but i figured i would compile a list of the first 5 that pop into my mind right now:
1- you taught me to be real tough. like, REAL tough.. and only those who were closest to you know what I am talking about.. (= 2- i can do anything. you never doubted what i can and can't do.. you very much lived by the Henry Ford quote: "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right!" 3- you were always supporting my crazy ideas.. whether it was traveling, philosophy, work, or general goals, you always made me feel like whatever i wanted to do was a great idea! or whatever thoughts i had were valid. 4- you make me question EVERYTHING. 5- you were the most attentive person i've ever encountered.. the pain of losing my father is the most i have ever felt. death is a part of life and the utmost crucial aspect of what makes living so special.
if i would have had any other dad, i wouldn't be half as tough, half as independent, half as knowledgable, half as frugal, and half as resilient to the things i cannot control.
for this, i am lucky.
he allowed me the opportunity of looking up to someone who displayed curiosity in their everyday existence and encounters with all people, places, and things.
and this is probably the number one reason why i am so curious.
eager to seek new opportunities.
and live my life.
not merely going through the motions of daily routine.
but seeing the world through i different lens.
"May you live every day of your life." -Jonathan Swift
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet. Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared.
i think most people are familiar with this poem. if not, i am ecstatic to be the first to share it with you!
as I sit in my cozy apartment, drinking my morning coffee, feeling really good about what i'm doing and where i'm going..... i was reflecting on how lucky i am!....
but then my brain wanted to chime in!
my brain stated,
"Self! you aren't lucky. you made all of this happen. instead of playing the victim of circumstance, you overcame the odds and never settled for less than what you wanted. That's not luck. Rather, your reward for hard work and perseverance."
i have some thoughts today that i wanted to write.. and figured blogging is like, my way of journaling in a way that i can share my thoughts with whoever wants to read them... *of course i do have a real journal with the more personal things* so here goes it: Thought #1 I have never had any desire to be a mother. my brother thinks i am very strange. and he wants nieces and nephews.. but i'm like- you have kids, dude. that's way too much work.. and then my life would be way less chill (possibly). if it happens, i guess that's okay... because it would DEFINITELY be an accident if it did... but like, kids are little organic germ vessels that suck money out of you when you could be spending that money on traveling and coffee and learning.. improving YOURSELF! i just can't even handle the thought of having offsprings right now. .......... maybe later when i get tired of being free to do whatever i want whenever i want. Thought #2 i love my little tropical-esque corner of my little apartment! look how adorable!!
***not my surfboard. i do not surf.
Thought #3 i love my little prayer flags.
"Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to gods, which is a common misconception; rather, the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all.
By hanging flags in high places they carry the blessings depicted on the flags to all beings. As wind passes over the surface of the flags, which are sensitive to the slightest movement of the wind, the air is purified and sanctified by the mantras.
The prayers of a flag become a permanent part of the universe as the images fade from exposure to the elements. Just as life moves on and is replaced by new life, Tibetans renew their hopes for the world by continually mounting new flags alongside the old. This act symbolizes a welcoming of life's changes and an acknowledgment that all beings are part of a greater ongoing cycle.
Because the symbols and mantras on prayer flags are sacred, they should be treated with respect."
i love this non permanent life. and change. and learning and loving. (=
Thought # 4
i FUCKING love ukuleles!!!
so here's a look at my new one!! (=
.. it's awfully beautiful. it's a Mahalo. which i had never heard of.. but it's a pretty good, cheaper ukulele! and i could not resist that it was my favorite color! she came from Arthur's in Fountain Square! (=
**Mahalo is a Hawaiian word for gratitude and thanks... i feel that's a suiting ukulele brand name. (=
I don't know whether or not I am going to start blogging again. ..if so, it won't be all "healthy food shit"... it's just going to be me. and my thoughts. because, fuck it. i care about my health.. but i can't force anyone to care about their own..
I haven't written any blogs since i joined the DDC (dead dad club) because I thought he was the only one who read it... he was the only one who gave me feedback on it anyway... So I have been thinking about how much i enjoy working at my new job... feeling like a real nurse- taking care of people that I don't have to convince to take their meds, because the majority of medical patients WANT their meds instead of thinking it's poison... (which, I wouldn't take my meds if i were schizo. So i can't blame them)... but either way- here goes it! my list of...
Reasons I Will Miss Psych Nursing:
1. me: "How are you today, Mister Patient?" patient (male): "How would you like to have your stomach and eyes cut out?!?!" 2. me: "Hi cutie pie!!" Patient (male): "FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!" 3. me: "Here's your medicine." patient (male): *laying on the floor, convulsing* "Get away from me, you Demon!!" 4. patient (female): "You're my favorite hero sandwich!!!!"
5. patient (female): *giggling, staring off into space* "i think i see jesus." 6. patient(male): *throwing an entire costco- size box of tampons into the air* "welcome to my world!.. this is my world.. and you are just living in it.. or is this your world, and i'm just living in it?"